Bear Cuisine

Eulogy for Gourmet

Last week Gourmet ceased publication and I felt as if I had lost an old friend. When I first started cooking in my late teens and early twenties, Gourmet was the magazine I read religiously.I suppose that Gourmet was for me what National Geographic was for others. Those essays about far-away places and untasted foods were my passport to a larger world--a world of infinite variety and pleasures. My old recipe file still has some recipes from those days laboriously copied by hand and filed away for future reference and use.

I liked the turn that the magazine had taken with Ruth Reichl at the helm. There were still the wonderful, lush travel pieces; but the writers also tackled the politics of food and championed the local, sustainable movement. They covered high-brow and low-brow.  As a long-time fan of Road Food,the regular features by Jane and Michael Stern were among my favorites. The writing was of a consistently high quality --a pleasure to read. 

Nothing lasts forever and, perhaps, I should be more philosophical about Gourmet's demise. Now the field is left to Saveur, a worthy heir to the tradition of fine food writing. I enjoy that magazine , but I will miss my old friend and cooking mentor.

Grits 101

This was sent to me by my friend Jane Bruce who is a Southerner to her heart's core. She didn't know the original source of this piece, but I knew that it had to be shared with readers of Bear Cuisine.

What Are Grits?
      

      

Nobody  knows.  Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are harvested by midgets by shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around  them.  Many people feel that grits are made from ground up bits of 
white corn.

 These  are obviously lies spread by communists and terrorists.  Nothing as  good as Grits can be made from corn.  The most recent research suggests that the mysterious manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their time in the Sinai Desert was most likely  Grits.  Critics disagree, stating that there is no record of biscuits, butter, salt, and red eye gravy raining down from the sky, and that God would not punish his people by forcing them to eat Grits without  these key ingredients. 

How Grits are Formed 

Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure.  It takes over 1,000 years to form a single Grit.  Most of the world's grit mines are in South Carolina, and are guarded day and night by armed guards and pit bull dogs.  Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit miners lose their lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served morning after morning for breakfast (not that having Grits for lunch and dinner is out of the question). 
      

Yankees have attempted to  create synthetic Grits.  They call it Cream of Wheat.  As far as we can tell, the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are Elmer's Glue and shredded Styrofoam.  These synthetic grits have also  been shown to cause nausea.

Historical  Grits 

As we mentioned earlier, the  first known mention of Grits was by the Ancient Israelites in the Sinai Desert.  After that, Grits were not heard from for another 1000 years. Experts feel that Grits were used during this time only  during secret religious ceremonies, and were kept from the public due to their rarity.

The next mention of Grits was found amidst the ruins of the ancient city of Pompeii in a woman's personal diary.  The woman's name was  Herculaneum Jemimaneus (Aunt Jemima to her friends.) 
      

The  10 Commandments of Grits 
I.      Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits. 
II.     Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon or knife. 
III.    Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits, for this is blasphemy .
IV.     Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Grits. 
V.     Thou shalt use only salt, butter, and red-eye gravy as toppings for thy Grits.
VI    Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits. 
VII.  Thou shalt not put ketchup on thy Grits.
VIII.  Thou shalt not put margarine on thy Grits. 
IX.    Thou shalt not eat toast with thy Grits, only biscuits made from scratch. 
X.    Thou shalt eat grits on the Sabbath for this is manna from heaven. 
      

How  to Cook Grits 
For one serving of Grits: 
Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little butter. [Use milk and they are creamier!)
Add 5 TBsp of Grits. 
Reduce to a  simmer and allow the Grits to soak up all the water. 
When a pencil stuck into the grits stands alone, it is done.  That's all there is to cooking grits.
 

How to make red eye gravy 
Fry salt cured country ham in cast iron pan.  Remove the ham when done and add coffee to the gravy and simmer for several minutes.  Great on grits and biscuits.

How  to Eat Grits 
Immediately after removing your grits from the stove top, add a generous portion of 
butter or red eye gravy. (WARNING:  Do NOT use low-fat butter.) The butter should cause the Grits to turn a wondrous shade of yellow.   (Hold a banana or a yellow rain slicker next to your Grits; if the colors match, you have the correct amount of butter.)

In lieu of butter, pour a generous helping of red eye gravy on your grits.   Be sure to pour enough to have some left for sopping up with your biscuits.  Never, ever substitute canned or store bought biscuits for the real thing because they cause cancer, rotten teeth ----

Next, add salt.  (NOTICE:  The correct ration of Grit to Salt is 10:1  Therefore for every 10 grits, you should have 1 grain of salt.) 
      

Now begin eating your grits.  Always use a fork, never a spoon, to eat Grits.  Your grits should be thick enough so they do not run through the tines of the fork.

The  correct beverage to serve with Grits is black coffee.   DO NOT use cream or, heaven forbid, Skim Milk.)

Your  grits should never be eaten in a bowl because Yankees will think its Cream 
of Wheat. 

Ways to Eat Leftover Grits 
      
(Leftover grits are extremely rare.)   Spread them in the bottom of  a casserole dish, 
Cover and place them in the refrigerator overnight. 
      
The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass.
Next morning, slice the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2" of cooking oil and butter until they turn a golden brown.   Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way.  This is, of course,  unacceptable.

(Note:  Slices can also be dipped into beaten egg and fried.)

IRISH BLESSING BEFORE EATING  GRITS: 
      

May the lord bless these grits, 
      
May no Yankee ever get the recipe, 
      
May I eat grits every day while living, 
      
And may I die while eating grits.  
AMEN

 

____________________________________________________________ 

---

Worcestershire Sauce

This is probably the most common ingredient to be found in kitchens throughout the English-speaking world. We use it for everything it seems--to add flavor to burgers and meat loaf, in sauces and by itself as a flavor enhancer. 

I never even thought about where it came from until I read Lizzie Collingham's wonderful book,Curry.

I think this is a fascinating bit of food trivia.

"In India, catsups were the inspiration for the piquant shikari sauces that the Anglo-Indians enjoyed with their game and it was one of these sauces that eventually became one of the best-known British flavorings. Sometime in the 1830s, Lord Marcus Sandys, the former governor of Bengal, drove into Worcester from his nearby country estate to visit Lea & Perrins, his local chemist-cum-grocer. The shop on Broad Street sold foodstuffs, cosmetics, and all sorts of medicines and was known for its supply of spices and dried fruits specially imported from Asia and the Americas. Lord Sandys arrived with a recipe on a scrap of paper and requested Lea & Perrins to make up his favorite Indian sauce. The mixture that Messrs. Lea and Perrins duly concocted was so fiery that it made their eyes water. . . . Sandys was delighted with the results. But the chemists were disgusted withe mixture. They put the extra barrels that they had made up for themselves in the cellar, where they were forgotten. During a spring clean, however, it was noticed that an appetizing aroma was rising out of the abandoned barrels and on tasting the contents Lea and Perrins, discovered that the concoction had matured into a pleasing spicy sauce The enterprising pair went into immediate production. By 1845 they had set up a factory in Worcester, and by 1855 were selling over 30,000 bottles a year. Worcestershire sauce as even exported back to India." (p. 149)

Collingham's book should be required reading for every lover of Indian food. She shows how the cuisine we know today has resulted in from the fusion of ingredients and spices brought into India from invaders and traders throughout the centuries. Hot peppers, for example, weren't used in India cooking until the Portuguese introduced them. She goes on to describe how Indian food has spread throughout the world and provides recipes for curries as they have been made at different points in history. This is a well-researched and well-written book that will please cooks and historians alike.

(Lizzie Collingham. Curry. A Tale of Cooks and Conquerors. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2006)

Who Is a Foodie?

Why do I cringe whenever someone calls me a foodie? At Maggie's party, Terry said "You are a serious foodie." She sounded as if she were paying me a compliment, but I winced. I hope not visibly.

I can hear what you're thinking. "For God's sake, you write a food blog. What more evidence do you need?" Yes, I write this blog, I have a staggering number of cookbooks. Food newsletters clog the mailbox. I shop at Farmers' Markets and I am obsessed with using the very best ingredients I can find and afford. It's like a checklist for the symptoms indicating that someone has the dreaded Foodie Bug. Still, I stubbornly insist that I am not a foodie.

For me, foodie has the unpleasant connotations of yuppie. These are people who collect restaurants and chefs the way other people collect charms on a bracelet. Their conversations are replete with allusions to their last meals at Per Se, Babbo's or Nobu's. Spending $500 on dinner isn't a rare or once-in-a-lifetime experience to be savoured at the moment and in memory; it is a way of life. The lives of yuppies and foodies are marked by a kind of collectors' mania. Another version of 'The one who dies with the most toys wins."

In Waiter Rant, the Waiter recounts this exchange with customers he characterizes as foodies.

"As the night progresses I get seated the most difficult kind of customers a water has to deal with--foodies. Foodies are usually middle-aged people who fancy themselves experts on food, wine and the finer points of table service. There's nothing wrong with being a gourmand, but foodies are not gourmands. They're gourmand wannabes. Like anything else, culinary knowledge takes time to learn. Foodies think they can watch one TV show and become the food critic for the New York Times. They're the culinary version of the guy who's had one karate lesson. They clutch their Zagat guides like it's Mao's Red Book and quote Frank Bruni like brainwashed members of the Weather Underground. Gourmet magazine's their spank mag and the Food Network's their Spice Channel. Right off the bat, I know these four guys are going to be trouble.

"Excuse me, waiter," one of the men says. "Where's the bread from?"

I tell him it's from a commercial bakery.

"Oh," the man says, putting the bread back in the basket. " I thought it was artisanal bread."

"Sorry, sir."

"Do you have any other bread?" his companion asks.

"We don't, sir."

"Well, bring me some balsamic vinegar to dip this bread in."

"It's in the bottle next to you,sir," I say.

The bread lover picks up one of the bottles of balsamic vinegar we have on the tables and holds it up to the light.

"What kind of balsamic is in here?"

I tell him. It's a good commercial brand you find in the supermarket.

"You don't have super-fancy balsamic vinegar, do you?" the man asks.

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's balsamic vinegar that costs two hundred dollars a bottle," the man says " I have it at home. You can put it on ice cream."

"I've never heard of it," I say. "But then again, I learn something new every day."

"You should know about it," the man sniffs. "You're a waiter in a Tuscan restaurant."

(Waiter Rant. Harper Collins, 2008, pp. 139-140)

I don't want to misrepresent myself as some kind of food Puritan. On the few occasions when I have had a meal in a world-class restaurant I have loved every second of it-- the great food, the subtle dance of seduction that takes place between the waiters and those of us at the table, the feeling of being cossetted and cared for, the momentary forgetting of the world outside. But I've never made of the mistake of thinking that a succession of these moments should make up my life. I've never thought that these times were my inalienable right.

For me food is all about connecting with the rest of humanity. Every meal has a sacramental dimension. Breaking bread with another person creates a bond that is not to be treated lightly. In the Middle East, if you share food with another that person can no longer be considered your enemy. "Doing lunch" has never been my idea of how to do business. It is, however, my idea of how to create friendships. Cooking for my family and my friends is a selfish pleasure. Yet, at the same time, it is the most unambiguous way I have of expressing love and affection. The hospitality of the table is central to my spiritual life.

I care deeply about where our food comes from and how it is grown and raised. I care about the people who grow our food and how farm workers are treated. I care about how food is distributed and how to create access to good food for everyone. I try to spend my dollars in accordance with my conscience.

Am I a foodie? Even if I say 'no," you may tell me that I meet enough of the criteria to be named as one of the guilty. You may be right, but I will still flinch at the label.